


Snødynking

by valkyrieemblem



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fear them, Gen, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, extremely one-sided snowball fights, fear norway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 14:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyrieemblem/pseuds/valkyrieemblem
Summary: In which we find out what Norway does for fun when it snows out. Seriously he does this every single year, you would think they would know not to go outside by now...





	1. Chapter 1

_Me:_ Germany's coming your way. Probably trying to figure out what in the name of whoever Italy was whining about.

_Annoying brother:_ Thank you for your help, little brother ^^

_Me:_ You would do this to me if I refused. It was sadly in my best interests.

_Annoying brother:_ I wouldn't have done it to you.

_Me:_ Yeah, right. Who else would you do it to?

_Annoying brother:_ I've done it to that stupid dane at least three times

_Me:_ He deserves it because he never learns, even though you do this EVERY FREAKING YEAR

_Annoying brother:_ That is his problem and I don't know why you're taking his side

_Me:_ That's the last thing I'd do you idiot

_Annoying brother:_ You're mean :(

_Annoying brother:_ How long until he gets to me?

Germany eyed Iceland warily. "What are you doing?"

Iceland jumped, almost dropping his phone. "Texting the annoying personification of Norway," he said after regaining his composure.

"Why aren't you in the meeting?" Germany asked in suspicion.

Iceland just deadpanned a look at him. "We're still waiting for America and a bunch of other pathetic nations that don't know how to deal with the snow to get here. Considering how we've been waiting for three hours I'm wondering why we're still here."

"We have to get things accomplished."

"Get what accomplished? All that happens is England and France or Greece and Turkey or whoever else you want to say gets into a fight and it escalates from there. I still don't know why I bother to come. Oh wait, Denmark annoys Norway enough that he agrees to go to shut him up and he makes me go because he apparently actually believes that misery needs company."

Germany blinked, surprised at the outburst. Iceland seemed to realize that, because he just leaned back against the wall and said with an annoyed look on his face, "Just leave me alone."

He decided to walk out the door and leave him alone. He had heard enough tales from Denmark and Sweden to not want to be around an annoyed Iceland.

The moment the blond walked outside the door, he tensed, eyes darting around. Granted, he hadn't completely believed Italy when he said he had been blinded by snowballs and had kind of only gone out to shut him up, but now his instincts were screaming for him to leave the warzone immediately.

He took a cautious step forward, and several more steps after that. When he had gotten to the other side of the building, he finally relaxed and sighed in relief, thinking that it had just been Italy panicking as usual.

That was probably one of the worst mistakes of his sort of immortal life.

Germany never saw the snowballs coming. One second, he was standing up straight, looking at the admittedly beautiful snow-covered grounds, and the next he was collapsed under the weight of about a million snowballs.

_Gott in himmel, what is this hell?!_

He tried to crawl away, but the snowballs just kept coming. If he was able to form any sort of thought, he would've both question how they were able to throw with such accuracy or would have taken a leaf from Italy's book and waved a white flag.

Finally, the force of the throws were too much and Germany finally collapsed from the pain. But that wasn't the end of the hell that he had walked into. No, he heard footsteps rush towards him, and forcibly turn him over.

The look he saw on Norway's face would be the source of his nightmares for the next decade at least.

Norway didn't waste any time. Germany wouldn't ever be able to recount what had happened exactly. He remembered getting snow forced into his shirt and pants, his hat getting torn off his head only to be forced back on with snow inside it, and his shoes getting ripped off his feet before being practically buried in snow.

As he laid there, shivering from what might be a very early sign of hypothermia, he heard Norway say, "I have to admit, you lasted longer than I had expected. You have a miniscule drop of respect from me for that. I hope to see you again like this next year when I go snødynking again."

Germany just stared at the sky, swearing to whatever god existed that he would never underestimate Norway ever again.

That nation was crazier than anyone knew.


	2. Chapter 2

Norway watched from behind a pile of snow as Sweden rushed from a side doorway and hurriedly dragged Germany back into the conference building. _Please, söta bror. I border you. It's ridiculously easy for me to go snødynk you at any point in the winter. I'm not going to stop you from dragging your brother back to 'safety'._

He sighed, taking out his phone and seeing if Iceland had texted him to tell him if any other nations were coming outside. No luck. _Italy probably warned them off going outside, and then Germany not coming back convinced them. Why does he have to be so fast?_

Norway sighed again, only perking up (or as perked up as he can get) when he saw the figure walking through the gates.

Russia.

He smirked, reaching into one of his bags and pulled out a snowball, taking careful aim before launching it at the tall nation.

Russia managed to last longer than Germany had, which wasn't too surprising. The Russian winter was an amazing natural defense, after all. However, he couldn't hold on forever. Russia didn't have any real equivalent to the beauty of snødynking, after all.

The moment he fell to the ground, Norway rushed forward, stuffing the Russian's coat and pants full of snow, forcing his shoes off and stuffing his winter cap full of snow. He didn't even have to really think about it; it was practically instinct for him by now.

Once he was done, he stepped back and waited.

Only a minute later, Russia's head shot up. He blinked, staring at him, before smiling. "Ah, Norway. So, you are going... what did you call it again?"

"Snødynking," Norway responded easily. "I thought you would know that by now."

"I always forget how you pronounce that one letter of yours," he said brightly. "Who have you gotten so far?"

"Let us see..." he said, pulling out his phone. "I have snødynked that annoying Dane three times, Prussia twice, England, France, Spain, Estonia, Netherlands, attempted to do Italy, Germany, and now you."

"Ah, only five nations to go before your record is broken," Russia said. "Do you need any help? I have the strange feeling that the meeting will never start now."

Norway was about to decline, saying that he didn't need any help, before he remembered an incident that a drunk England had told Scotland, who in turn had told him. "Actually," he said, repressing the smirk that wanted to break out on his face, "if you would stand by the gates and tell me if anyone actually shows up, I would very much appreciate it."

"Of course, comrade!" Russia beamed, somehow managing to get up and brushing the snow off his coat. "Ah, but can I have my shoes back?" Norway pointed to where they were sitting a few feet away. As the Russian put them on, he said, "Do not worry, I will tell you if someone comes."

The Nordic nodded his thanks, letting the evil grin break out once he was completely sure Russia couldn't see him.

_Good. Now they'll be terrified even before they enter the grounds. This may be one of the best snødynks ever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, I just see Russia being pretty cool with this. I mean Norway is just doing it for his own amusement and not really doing it to hurt him or really targets anyone in particular.
> 
> Again, don't mess with Norwegians and be wary of people when there's lots of snow on the ground. Which could actually theoretically be any time of year, especially up north.

**Author's Note:**

> To quot what a Norwegian friend told me about this: Snødynking is when people, especially kids, gang up on someone, most likely a friend or an older person like a teacher, and throw snow on them, hold them down and put snow on their clothes, bury their shoes and fill their winter cap with snow. In the end, that person will be almost completely covered with snow and the kids will leave them alone.
> 
> Yes, they apparently do this enough that there's an actual word for it.
> 
> If you want to see an actual account of this phenomenon, go look up "Welcome to Norway, puny American soldier".
> 
> Seriously, don't mess with Norway, Hetalia or real life. You won't like the result.


End file.
